Fortuna Forme

Previously posted elsewhere:

I just cried in hysterics. I had one of those "oh shit" -- something-hit-you kinda cry's. The first of my closest friends (there are four of us) left about twenty minutes. As soon as I got in my room, I started to cry. I have a year of college under my belt... and I am not going to see her for four months, or the other two. It's funny how close I am to them- I didn't cry at my Baccalaureate. I didn't cry at my Graduation. I wasn't too fussed about leaving my high school... I don't really make a huge effort to stay in contact with my friends from back home. But, the ones I have made up here, for the short time I have known them, I feel like I have known them more than any other person, aside from my family, in my life. I'm going to miss my shitty little room. I am going to miss my shitty roommate. I am going to miss my shitty Latin class. I am going to miss those shitty bagels I would get in the morning with the shitty drip coffee. It's so hard to not cry again... but I feel it rising. The odd thing is, I kind of like feeling like this. I think I have finally figured out what it feels like to have friends who act like friends, and not just say they are. I don't want these four years to end.

Going home is bittersweet.
More bitter than sweet.

Hej hej,
Any