Retirement.

I won't lock you on the hillside
Where the fire comes each October.
I won't lock you at seaside
'Cause that's not any better-
When it rains, it pours
You'll get swallowed by the shores.



To be continued. Someday.

Hej hej,

Any

A simple photograph.

This post will start with something I wrote somewhere else.



No matter how much philosophy I have, and probably will study, when someone dies, someone is dead.

It doesn’t feel any better.

It certainly feels worse.

The situation isn't as serious as I am making it sound. People die every day. The thing is, when you know a face that has died (you don't have to actually know the person), you feel this violent wave of rage come over you, then you feel sad.
The feeling of sadness is what hurts the most. Nobody likes to feel sad. People get sad over things they cannot control.

I am sad.
Human beings are always dying.
Why am I not inherently sad, then?
I have not laid eyes on all who have died. If I were to see every face of every person to die, that would make me habitually depressed.

Death is a huge change. You have to figure out how to live your life without that person in it... which is frustrating.

I don't know how to resolve this feeling of sorrow and death... says the girl who has "Life is a Fiction" on her blog...

It's just hard to let go. I thought I had been able to convince myself death is 'okay.'
Death rolls around,
and it hits me like lightning.

This certain situation will pass in a bit. I just don't want to know what I will be like when something more serious rolls around.




This was horribly written.
It's all in my head, but it can't get out.


Hej hej,

Any

Melting under ice.

Young men
in crop tops
running shorts
and leg warmers.


What haven't we seen done today?

Enough.
That is what we haven't seen.

My legs turned black under the sun today. I had to return inside after my neck couldn't bear perspiring onto the pillow any longer. I sit inside, melting under ice- not used to this. It isn't as hot as it could be. The day is dying, the air is cooling, and maybe I will feel better in a few minutes. Maybe a cold bath is in order?
So much to do.
To unpack.

What a boring, tedious chore.
I am leaving this place in two weeks.
I am beginning to feel I live out of suitcases.
If only I could manage with one small case.

Maybe I will do that when graduate?

Take a small bag and hop around from town to town.
Sounds like a dream
an impossible reality.

Melting under ice.
This slow moving glacier crushing me- I want to break through. It is going to pass soon. Oh, so very soon. I am waiting. 14 days.

I need to clear my thoughts and make a new entry.

Hej hej,

Any

Damn.

Well.
May was a bust.



Hej hej,

Any