A lost letter to a lost friend

We have now re-connected in an odd, odd way. Hopefully we'll keep in touch some other way than what we are currently doing right now. Here is a letter that I never mailed out several months ago:

11 November, 2009

Dearest T-----r,

I write this letter from the Starbucks across from B--------- Hall- no drink at my side, as I am unable to afford even a tall drip coffee. I am relying heavily on my Bon A---- meal plan to get me by until Christmas. It's a little wet outside today- no crazy flood-rain. Just a sprinkle here or there. It's sad out there- it wants you to come back and greet the city with open arms and sunshine.

So- I should have written to you sooner. But, you're lucky I am writing to you at all. See, I am a woman filled with a lot of false promises, smiles, charm, sass, and glitter. Yes, glitter. Almost as much as Paddy Wolf! Anyway- about the false promises, it is true. I told many friends that I would write them last year, and I never followed through on this vow to keep in touch. You are the first person that I have written to that is not a family member... are you feeling special? Now I am just getting cocky- I really need to stop that...

I have not attended one concert since being here in S------. It's been a quiet Fall Quarter. But, I am loving every minute of it up here. Coffee shops are my new form of entertainment. I haven't met my prince charming (though I have witnessed many show stoppers) or written anything truly inspiring ( I am a failure of a writing major). these are things that I am adamant about accomplishing this year (that sentence sounds terribly awkward...).

One of these days... wait- where was I going with this? I feel like this letter is awfully organized. I am going to now fill it with questions for you to answer so that I can expect a letter back from you (woohoo! Everyone loves to get mail).

So: How are you? Right this moment- cold? Happy? Inspired? Have you read nything xceptionally interesting lately? Written any poems that blew your heart and mind? Are you getting enough sleep? Is your family doing well? Any television shows I should become addicted to over Christmas Break? Are you going anywhere interesting for your Winter Break?

Oh, boy- I have provided a lot of questions- pardon me... well, I am genuinely interested to hear back from you!

-------

Obviously not, since I never mailed them the letter. Well- there you go- I am sending them their many months due letter, and allowing all 2 billion internet users to read.

Hej hej,

Any

Way to unstart the New Year (another pure confession).

I promised myself to start off my New Year right. Well, I haven't. I am ill. Gluttonous. I feel absolutely sickened with myself- licking the chocolate from the corners of my mouth... washing it down with a glass of Ovaltine. Wrong. So wrong. I can't say no- why can't I say no? Because it is delicious? Because I am afraid I won't be able to experience the sweetness ever again? I recently read an article that a friend of mine shared on her blog, and it said to stop being a procrastinator of pleasure. Well, I embraced those words. They are going to be my words to think about for the next decade...
but this whole eating thing- eating is supposed to be a pleasure. I find it awful that by me eating, I take no pleasure in the activity. I am constantly grazing. Right now I feel like I should be doubled over with my face in the toilet. I have consumed more chocolate than a poor child in a third world will ever have in their lifetime (if they are lucky) in one day. The more I mull over this, the more I want to puke, the more I feel upset with my decisions. And I hope I vomit because I deserve it.

Now it won't happen, and I'll have to sleep away my tummy ache.

I know I can do it. I know I can find a pleasure in not over- what would I call it? It isn't indulging. Indulging is a pleasant word, and with the state I am always in, it is never an indulgence. It is a living misery. I think this is an internal cry for help.

For those that know me, I don't know how you are going to take this, but bear with me. This addiction is bad. I need slaps on a wrist. I am like a drug user. Don't be afraid to tell me no. Help. I want help so bad- I want the rest of this year to feel much better than I do now.

I have to nurse my stomach ache.

Hej hej,

Any