North is better.

I don't understand all of these fruit fly gangs this year.
Isn't it weird at night: you look to the darkness of the East, but can still see the lightness in the West.

It still hasn't hit me.
I will be gone for a month.
In another country.

It will change me, but will I change for it?

A wonderful conversation- very brief- was sparked this early morn'. I have known this person for close to 6 years- we have had our ups and downs, but we are the closest we have been right now.

I said to her, "You know- it's so interesting to see how much people change when they go to college. I don't feel like I have done anything."

She said, "Don't feel like that. You knew who you were in high school, and you shouldn't feel obligated to have a dramatic change."

Strong statements.
Did I really know who I was 5 years ago?
Well. I was a water polo and swim jock addicted to pop punk.
4 years ago?
I didn't like water polo as much and liked swim much more and listened to screamo. AP magazine was my bible.
3 years ago?
I hated most of the people on the water polo team and only did it to stay in shape for swim. Fuck that pop punk and screamo shit. I loved electro.
2 years ago?
I worked a part time job at Baskin Robbins, used my tip money to buy NME weekly (my new bible, fuck Alternative Press). I only did water polo so it would look 'consistent' on my college transcripts. I hated everyone I knew at school. I cried. And cried. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I didn't want to read. I didn't want to do a damn thing.
1 year ago?
I loved rowing. That was my life. Didn't really stay in the loop with current events or new music.
And now?
Well- I am more confused than ever. I look back, and there isn't a damn thing that sticks out in my mind and makes me think, "You really know yourself, Any."

I really don't know who I am, who I want to be. There is this idealized visual in my mind and I don't know how to get to it.

Why the fuck am I griping about this shit here?
Good god.

TMI TMI TMI

Maybe I am bitter over the current events that have occurred over the last few months.
My prediction was partially true.

TOO BAD IT WASN'T PERTAINING TO ME.

nix
nix
nix
stop thinking about that-
don't let it consume you

i can't

yes you can

no i cannot

shut the hell up.
you can.

Hej hej,

Any